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Climbing the Liquor Ladder: Going from Beer to Wine

Almost everyone remembers their first drinkbehind the concept of chugging: the faster
of alcohol. I remember mine like it wasthe chugging, the less opportunity for
yesterday. Taking a sip of my father's Budtasting. Wine, however, is meant to be
Light when I was seven years old, I realizedtasted; it's meant to be savored. Each sip of
it tasted nothing like the root beer Iwine should provide a new experience for your
frequently drank, mixing it with vanilla icetaste buds, making your beer bottles boil
cream in large plastic cups. As Iwith  increasing  jealousy  in  the process.
concentrated on not spitting the beer back in
the can, knowing very well this would send my
germ-a-phobic father rocking in the corner, I
swallowed the beer with my nose plugged andEnjoy  the  Variety
vowed  to  never  drink  again.
While there are several different types of
This vow was broken in my late teenage yearsbeer, most beer tastes relatively the same
when beer bongs and keg stands were callingwith some just not being quite as bad as
me, chanting my name in unison and performingothers. Two different bottles of wine,
the "slow clap" portrayed in inspirationalhowever, can taste dramatically unalike. Wine
moments in movies. But, the truth is, Idrinkers are granted with the ability to pick
didn't really like beer then and I don'tfrom a variety of years, types, and flavors.
really like it now. From the cheap stuffThey can choose red wine or white wine, wine
filling the kegs of frat houses all over thefrom places as far as France or as close as
world, to the more expensive wheat beersOregon. And, once engaged in a little wine
served with an orange, they've always tastedtasting, wine drinkers can find a wine they
the  same  to  me. They've always tasted bad.really  love.
That is why, after college, where beer wasEmbrace  the  History  and  the  Culture
just short of flowing from dorm room faucets,
I decided to climb the corporate ladder of
liquor consumption, with the next rung up
being  wine.Wine, in addition to being full of taste, is
packed with culture and history. From the
exportation of wine in the 1st Century AD to
the forbidding of the planting of vineyards
Initially I made this choice because of theby the King of Spain, learning about wine
health benefits of wine. Unlike beer, withallows you to learn about the history of our
each pint providing more belly fat inworld. Drinking different wines from
alcohol's version of 8-minute abs, winedifferent regions also allows you to learn
possesses several things beneficial to aabout the values of those particular regions.
person's health, with particular concern to
the heart. But, health benefits aside, I took
this plunge because wine is so much more than
alcohol.Behave  Yourself
However, taking the plunge from beer to wineWhen drinking wine, you need to act like
wasn't easy. While beer is junior varsity,you're drinking wine. Now, I'm not saying you
wine is varsity. With wine, you're playingneed to speak with an English accent or hold
with the big boys and there are several rulesyour wine glass with your pinky sticking out
to  keep  in  mind  for  a smooth transition.at a 90 degree angle, but wine demands a
certain sophistication that beer refutes:
when drinking beer, the more barbaric the
behavior the better. With wine, however, your
Don't  Play  Drinking  Gamesbehavior should contain a certain sense of
sophistication, behavior that points to a
bottle of Pinot Gris and says, "She's with
me."
From Quarters to Century Club, beer was made
for drinking competitions, being the game
piece passing Go and collecting two hundred
dollars. But, playing a drinking game withWhen it comes down to it, beer and wine are
wine may result in praying to the porcelainon different sides of the alcohol spectrum.
God later in the evening. While beer is madeBeer, in hindsight, is kind of like the
to be swallowed in large amounts, with thesippy-cup that prepares you for the real
occasional belch being the only thing neededthing. Wine, however, offers so much more,
to make someone getting sick feel better,and teaches you, above all, why alcohol
wine  isn't. Wine, simply put, is not a toy.really is a median of nearly every
culture.Jennifer Jordan is the senior editor
at With a vast knowledge of wine etiquette,
she writes articles on everything from how to
Wine  should  be  sipped,  not  chuggedhold a glass of wine to how to hold your hair
back after too many glasses. Ultimately, she
writes her articles with the intention that
readers will remember wine is fun and each
I have a theory that someone like me,glass of anything fun should always be
someone who hates beer, was the idea-personsavored.



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