| Amber Hiccums had had a great fall and winter | | | | pushed aside some movable rocks, opened the |
| in Paris and New York, and now spring was | | | | ramshackle door and waved his remaining hand |
| here in Ireland and she sprang out of the | | | | for them to enter. Amber tugged at her |
| jaunting-car to reconnoiter with her dear | | | | collar. She could barely see a tunnel, dank |
| friends Harmie and Armie, the most beloved | | | | and close. They tiptoed along for about a |
| couple in Dublin. Harmonious Claribel Euphony | | | | block and came into a cave-like room with a |
| was by every man's calculation, the biggest | | | | fire going and several men sitting around |
| gent in Dublin. Some took him to be equal to | | | | with their pipes asmoke.--Here they are, tell |
| the length and breadth of it, and his wife, | | | | 'em the tale.--Hee Haw, you must be Amber, |
| Armonium Laribel Phonieux, the most sinuous, | | | | Armonium I already know . You sit down |
| continuous, roundabout and plural of women. | | | | ladies, tea water's boilin'. Here comes each |
| There was trouble in Dublin. Before Amber | | | | a cup, and now the story. Not two hours ago, |
| could unpack or even pull down her | | | | one of our agents hiding behind a lamppost in |
| ever-popping-up collar, Armie took her by the | | | | the park, spied a group of two young women |
| hand. --Let's stroll along the river, lovey, | | | | and three soldiers whispering like paranoids. |
| and I'll fill you in. We've had a serious | | | | He moseyed over casual-like and asked did |
| robbery hereabouts. A gang of four, maybe | | | | anyone have a match perchance. Well, you |
| more, has stolen the priceless Viscount | | | | should have heard all the fancy excuses they |
| Scepter and other treasures from the museum. | | | | came up with about why and where and how come |
| We fear that the thieves may throw away the | | | | and no one even asked them their business, |
| most precious stone, the famous Morken | | | | did they?. So upset they were that they |
| Diamond, since it would be recognized | | | | grabbed a hostage, one little wandering |
| anywhere and so will not likely be cut into | | | | chewer who was munching neither on a candy |
| smaller gems. It would take a better | | | | bar nor a popsicle, but only a bit of potato, |
| knifeblade than they have to do it in any | | | | that harmless she was. As it happens, the |
| case.--O rocks! Here's some flat ones, lets | | | | girl is the very daughter of Martha Pandybat, |
| skip a few stones. You know, it seems likely | | | | the very secretary and keeper of the keys of |
| that unusual goings-on will be talked about. | | | | our very little museum. We then received a |
| Maybe we can pick up some gossip if we go | | | | letter that said we could get Martha's girl |
| wandering through the park.And so they | | | | back if we would send a messenger with a |
| rustled up this and that path, stopping to | | | | sackful of money to 1132 Seashell St. right |
| sit hither and thither on benches occupied by | | | | there at the foot of the castle just at 7 |
| chatters, some nicely dressed and others in | | | | P.M.He clearly explained it all and showed |
| tatters. Several suspicious men and women | | | | them the note. Amber was not known to the |
| passed by, looking quickly at the outsider, | | | | rapscallions, so was elected as the bag lady, |
| then lowering their heads.--Amber Hiccums, | | | | the thought being that she would not pose a |
| everybody thinks you are a spy. Come to think | | | | threat to them. Whoever had that thought was |
| of it, they're about right. Don't get too | | | | missing more than an arm, but that was the |
| close to those brambly bushes, mustn't skin | | | | decision and off she went, with invincible |
| your coat. We're not hearing much here, not | | | | Armie following some distance after.--How |
| worth tarrying any longer, let's go.Armonium | | | | come Eagle-eye Armie is so far behind and how |
| Laribel Phonieux hustled Amber onto a tram | | | | did I get into this mess, anyway?Seven of the |
| and they hied themselves to the Flowertown | | | | clock was nigh. Amber arrived at the |
| Bazaar.--This is the merriest bazaar I've | | | | rendezvous holding the bag, her collar up. |
| ever been to, Armie, it has everything! I | | | | This scheme was not at all well thought out. |
| must get a little something for Raoul while | | | | What was she supposed to do now? A tall dark |
| I'm here.--Mind the clay and you're about to | | | | figure emerged from the shadows as zither |
| step on that potted ashplant.--Sorry! Say, | | | | music hummed through the trees: dum da dum, |
| look at that candlemaker's stall over there. | | | | da dummm, da dummmm. The person rushed |
| There's a little cloud of wicksmoke hanging | | | | forward and grabbed Amber's bag and ran like |
| over it.--That's where we are going Ambo, | | | | the wind. Armie chased and tackled him just |
| here, let me introduce you to our nosiest | | | | as he was about to slither into the train |
| operative, Icarious Uplump Stately.--Aieeayoh | | | | station. Amber and another member of the |
| you scared me with your blooody feral dog. | | | | party who had been lurking nearby, joined |
| What happened to him?--Wo, you sound like one | | | | Armie in holding the miscreant down. A third |
| of them sirens durin' the war. Ol' Bunk here | | | | man pulled up the rear. Fifteen minutes of |
| stuck his nose in the wrong pub, got a dog | | | | intense questioning failed to reveal the |
| biscuit box thrown at him. Glad to meet you. | | | | whereabouts of Martha Pandybat's child and |
| Has Armie told you the plan?--Not so's you'd | | | | the loot.Amber took off in the opposite |
| notice, I am a ...--No, no, we can't talk | | | | direction, as the others puzzled over how to |
| here. I sold a few candles already so I'll | | | | rescue Martha Pandybat's daughter and the |
| close up shop for now and meet you two at | | | | treasures. She knew what she was doing. About |
| noon by the timeball. Bring Harmie and I'll | | | | an hour later Amber returned and awakened her |
| round up the rest.Noon found them all | | | | friends and the rest of Dublin with a |
| hunkered in a circle drawing diagrams in the | | | | thunderous shout in the street!--What was |
| sand and receiving assignments. Amber and | | | | that terrible noise here on a Thursday?--I |
| Armie were sent to the hamlet of Kidneyzod | | | | Just needed to get your attention and I |
| because a some big spending had been spotted | | | | thought that tap-tap-tapping wouldn't quite |
| there.At twenty-three Enkeedoo St., beside | | | | do it. I have returned to tell you that the |
| the Gilgamishemishe Fountain, they found a | | | | whole thing has been a fake, the robbery, the |
| giant curio sale going on. A mother and her | | | | abduction and the ransom demands. Martha |
| brood, and for that matter all her neighbors | | | | Pandybat herself is the ringleader of this |
| were buying multifarious titbits, necklaces | | | | bunch of rounders.--Impossible! Martha could |
| of rosevean beads, cheap little booklets of | | | | never be a criminal.--She's not. None of |
| poems, CDs of The Ballad of Garry Owen. O the | | | | these citizens is a real criminal. It was all |
| noise, the noise was enough to wake the | | | | set up by the museum and the insurance |
| dead.Oops! a boy almost knocked me down. Well | | | | company. The plan was to make the public |
| bite my bunions!Amber recognised a warm human | | | | believe that the scepter and other items were |
| plumpness of a man flashing his money about | | | | gone and that replicas were in their places |
| with great to do. It was Harmonious Claribel | | | | on display. That way, actual thieves would |
| Euphony, her friend who had left the meeting | | | | have no further interest in stealing them. |
| to go to Dalkey where it was thought that | | | | This case is closed.--But Amber Hiccums, |
| some of the stolen booty had been seen.--So, | | | | everybody thought..., nobody could have..., |
| Harmie, do you belong here at our | | | | how th...?--I saw it in his eyes while we |
| investigation site, and why are you just | | | | were questioning him so I went back and broke |
| throwing your cash around?--Shh... Cash'll | | | | into the museum room and searched through the |
| flush 'em out. Go. Go away, go away, I had | | | | file cabinets. I scratched up a letter which |
| hoped that I wouldn't encounter you.--Okay, | | | | explains all. They were just paying the |
| okay, I'm history, don't blame me. | | | | ransom to themselves and the child was never |
| Ppecmshdepoaufw! Don't forget to pull the | | | | in any danger. The constabulary might have a |
| chain. Acts like he's trying to get over a | | | | word or two to say about the ruse, but our |
| nightmare.Amber caught up with Armonium and | | | | work is finished.Amber smoothed down her |
| the two traipsed off to the brownstone | | | | ever-up collar,--Armie, Harmie, it has been a |
| bookstore to show off what nothing they had | | | | great joy celebrating the solving of this |
| discovered to Icarious and his fellow | | | | little mystery together and now summer is |
| councilor Mr. Nolanetti.Before they could | | | | hiccumin' in and I'm off to see Raoul, so |
| reach the door, a one-armed fisherman with | | | | beastly 'bye. I'll see you in my |
| crazy eyes pulled them aside and into a | | | | dreamy-dreams. I hate long goodbyes, yes I |
| narrow path between two buildings. He growled | | | | do, yes I do. Yes, Adieu.Jack Wilson is a |
| menacingly.--You'd best come with me if you | | | | student of the works of James Joyce. He has |
| want to save a life y' know. This way.Behind | | | | participated in and led study groups about |
| the bookstore was a square ditch to let the | | | | Ulysses and other works of Joyce. He has also |
| river run off in case of a swelling tide. | | | | translated some of Joyce's short stories from |
| Over that was a bridge into a yard with what | | | | Dubliners into the Esperanto Language. |
| seemed to be a storage shed. The fisherman | | | | |